Becoming your Indian Mum? 10 Sure Fire Ways to Know


Your mum is your hero in many ways and your compass in life. Given she is probably your only template in ‘how to be a mummy’, it’s hardly surprising that you finding yourself emulating her! You don’t plan it. I’m barely conscious I’m even doing it. But I surprise myself at times when I catch myself spontaneously saying things I’m sure my mum said to me, and I know I shudder slightly as the words come out of my mouth!

So what are the signs that you are becoming your mum when you’re an Asian mum? These are my starter for ten!

  1. You say things you can’t imagine yourself really using until now “there are starving children who wouldn’t complain about eating bhindi!’ or ‘Santa Claus doesn’t like greedy children, do you think you ought to ask for fewer presents?!’
  2. You developed the skill of the ‘death stare’ which even now would put the fear of God in you if your mum used it (except yours isn’t as good as hers, and you’ve caught yourself practising in the bathroom mirror on more than one occasion).
  3. The only way to ensure your child goes to the bathroom before leaving the house is threatening not to stop the car during the long car journey. (Ultimately though, I’m sure kids know you won’t take the risk and a hard shoulder stop is obligatory in more cases than I’d like to admit!).
  4. You take a hard line approach to consumption of sweet stuff but make an exception to mangoes when they’re in season or turn a blind eye to the great grandmother feeding ladoo!
  5. You hated having oil ritually put in your hair as a child but apply it now with your own kids. You now tell yourself and the kids that it makes it more manageable and less knotted. The kids aren’t buying the sales pitch!
  6. Acceptable snack-time treats include ‘chevdo’ sandwiches or ‘gathia’ but you’d frown at the thought of crisps!
  7. You caught yourself licking a finger to wipe off marks on your child’s face, shuddered, but carried on anyway.
  8. You’ve uttered the words ‘ghare aavade’ or ‘wait until we get home’ when there’s been misbehaviour in a public place.
  9. Your child can add, subtract, read well and understand the law of gravity, but you’re proudest when they know how to count to ten in your native language!
  10. You buy clothes too large for your kids so they ‘grow in to them’ to get better use of them! This particularly applies to Indian lehenga, kurti and churidar sets.
For better or worse, admit it – you are growing into your mum! You can fight it or put out both arms and welcome it proudly! Cheers mum!

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